Bad Romance
by Shitsuren69
Summary: CRACK. A little warning to ShinSena lovers, Ikari and Jumonji are not very forgiving. ShinIkari, JumonjiSena, mentioned ShinSena. Oneshot. For Nyukisan10. Has nothing to do with Lady Gaga's song.


I cannot believe I'm writing this. I blame Nyukisan10. This is set during Sena's second year in high school. I apologize for making Ikari slightly OOC here. I'm having a slight problem trying to pinpoint his personality. And I'm really sorry for the ending. I was trying to go somewhere with this, but then it fell off of a cliff…

Paring: ShinxIkari. JumonjixSena. Mentioned ShinSena

Warning: Ikari. Yaoi. Yaoi fan girls.

I do not own.

---

Ikari Daigo was not a force to be messed with. Everyone in Oujo -and a few outside of the school- would tell you that without hesitation. Just as the name, "Hiruma Yoichi" struck fear into the deep hearts of the students at Deimon – and everyone else in the world- the name "Ikari Daigo" also struck fear. Albeit, a different kind of fear, but a fear nonetheless.

After all, who wanted a hot headed chain-biting idiot running after you?

Currently, two unfortunate members of a soccer team were caught between a wall and Ikari. They had no idea what they did wrong to possibly warrant this kind of behavior from the teen. I mean, they hadn't been badmouthing Oujo, they hadn't been hitting on a cute Oujo girl, and they certainly did not diss the Oujou Football Team. So exactly _why _the chain-gnawing teen had screamed, "Ora!" and attacked them made little to no sense to the two of them. All they knew was that one minute, they were talking, the next, everything blurred and when they could finally focus – never mind _breath_- they found themselves in this rather uncomfortable position.

"H... hey man, calm down," one of the member said, trying not to squirm into the wall. Really, if he backed up anymore, he'd be a part of the wall.

"Yeah, for real. We didn't do anything," the other one said, putting his hands up as if to prove his innocent. _See, my hands are clean!_

Of course, to Ikari, that was the wrong thing to say. As if to prove the point, the chain-covered teen began to emit a dark aura. And even to normal people, who couldn't see auras under normal circumstances, could feel the shivers go up and down their spines. And the two members of a soccer team swore never to walk down this part of the town ever again.

"You were talking about Eyeshield 21! ORA!!!!" was the angry war howl they received.

The two members blinked. Since when was the Prison-Chain Ikari so interested in the Deimon's Running Back? But of course, if they voiced this out loud, they'd probably be killed. Now that they stopped and thought about it, surely being in this awkward position meant that Ikari was going to kill them, anyways? They glanced at each other before turning back to Ikari, both with mouths open in protests.

"It's a…"

"You… can't be-!"

Oh, but Ikari was serious. He raised his right foot from the ground. With a sneer, he allowed the screams of the two fill the streets. Relishing the power that rushed in his veins, Ikari contemplated where to kick first. Should he start with the head? The torso? Perhaps the leg? It would be rather amusing to watch them try to run, not to mention it'd probably hinder them in soccer-related activities…

"I… Ikari-san!"

The Prison-Chain Ikari paused. He glanced over and spotted a rather small boy with wide brown eyes. Next to the shortie was a white-haired teen with a fierce scowl on his face. The fact that Deimon was far away from Oujo and the two shouldn't even be anywhere near here escaped Ikari's mind. The only thing that mattered was that the two was standing there, seemingly waiting for something. Ikari blinked. Then he looked down. The two members looked up at him with fear in their eyes. Ikari grinned, a perfect plan forming in his mind.

Putting his feet down on the ground, he motioned for the two Deimon Amefuto players to come over. The shortie looked uncertain at first, but then complied. Seeing that, the white-haired teen let out a curse and followed. Before the two came too close, however, Ikari spoke the magic words.

"Ora! These idiots thought Eyeshield 21 was going out with Oujo's 40!"

There was a slight pause as those words sunk in. Then, the white-haired teen, the one with a X-shaped scar on his cheek like Kenshin, the same one who had been standing extremely close to the shortie, the exactly same one who had been glaring at Ikari since the delinquent was found, snapped. He pushed Ikari aside and glared down at the two members. And the two members cursed the day they knew Eyeshield 21.

"Is it true?" the shortie had spoken out first. He was looking at the two members, desperately asking them with his eyes to deny this claim. But Ikari stepped before the brown-eyed boy's line of sight. Not that it would matter if they did deny it now. Jumonji looked _pissed_.

The two members didn't even have the time to gulp as two well-built delinquents turned Amefuto Linemen began their revenge.

---

"That was mean," Kobayakawa Sena pouted at his assistant captain. Ikari supposed the boy was trying to glare at the taller boy, but Kobayakawa was Kobayakawa. He could never glare. At least, not as well as the two delinquents who were standing by his sides.

"Jumonji-kun-" the shorter boy tried again. Ikari was amused here. The shortie still called his boyfriend by his surname? Ikari was certain that Jumonji would have cured that little stutter by now. Ikari couldn't help but to grin. I guess not everyone was as talented as he for fixing boyfriend's formality.

"Would you rather the two continued their rumor?" Jumonji, the white-haired boy, snapped. He was clearly irritated by this conversation, and Ikari didn't blame him in the least. Who wanted to hear others trying to pair his boyfriend up with another's?

The running back of Deimon Amefuto team flinched at the sudden hostility in Jumonji's voice. "S… sorry," the smaller boy said.

It had taken some time, but being near the Amefuto members had caused the smaller boy's stiff formality to rub off slightly. Of course, that didn't mean that Sena wasn't the adorable little wimp that we all know and love. The boy was still easily startled and scared, much to both Jumonji's frustration and amusement. But I get ahead of myself. This story is about Ikari, not Jumonji's love life. For more information about these two, please contact a certain ex-captain of Deimon Amefuto club.

We return to the story as Jumonji reached down to hold Sena's hands. There was a faint blush on his cheeks as he looked into his boyfriend's eyes. "I don't want to lose you."

By now, Ikari was questioning why he had decided to follow these two. The two were obviously in love - the loving way they were staring at each other made him roll his eyes - and watching other couples in action made Ikari want to vomit. It wasn't that he was childish and still held firm to the belief that cooties could be transferred through saliva. Oh no. Whoever told you that was lying… or he was Hiruma.

Ikari cleared his throat, getting the attention back to himself. Jumonji glanced annoyed at him before trying to get back to where he was with his beloved shortie. However, the brunette had realized that they were in an open, public street and, turning completely red, dodged Jumonji's maneuver by hiding behind Ikari. Ikari sighed. Just what he needed after beating up some punks… to be stuck in between a lovers' loving quarrel.

"Ora!" Ikari snapped, recalling the lost attention. "I'm trying to meet up with _someone_!"

Both Jumonji and Sena froze. They both knew who Ikari was talking about. Sena released Ikari as if the chain-holding delinquent was actually Hiruma in disguise. "I'm _so_ sorry!" Sena squeaked. Jumonji just rolled his eyes and motioned for Ikari to leave.

And that's exactly what Ikari would have done had not for this scene that occurred right across the street:

"Did you hear the news? Eyeshield 21 and Oujo's 40 are together!" a girl screamed, waving a tabloid magazine in her hands. She flipped open to a page, in which a picture of Sena and Shin, in a compromising position, could be seen.

"Eh?! That speedy shrimp and that hunk?"

"I think he looks more like a gorilla."

"Stupid. He looks like a bear. An overgrown bear with real nice muscles…"

The first girl waved her hands to get the other girls' attentions. "Girls! Girls! We're Yaoi fan girls. We do not argue about what the people look like. We-"

"-get hot smexy yaoi materials on the two!" the other girls exclaimed, devilish glints in their eyes.

This time, there was no pause for this scene to process in both Jumonji's and Ikari's minds. They both ran across the street and attacked the first girl that they happen to get a hold of. By the time Sena finally snapped out of his daze, the two had already beaten most of the girls up to a pulp. Sena gulped.

"Jumonji-kun…" he began, trying to cross the street.

If Sena had been a more careful person, he would have looked both ways before crossing the street. And taking that step out into the road, Sena realized just why such silly rules were invented. The car honked loudly as it headed straight towards him. Sena frowned. But he wasn't the Deimon's Eyeshield 21 for nothing. Sena ran forward, using his golden legs to propel himself faster than the car…

Or at least that's what _should_ have happened.

Before Sena could run forward, a hand rushed at him in the form of a spear. _Not again!_ was the only thought in the poor boy's mind as the infamous Spear Tackle hit him in the ribs. The world stood still as Sena's face harshly met the ground and he cursed the day that the blonde Demon dragged him into the football clubhouse. Damn Hiruma and his ability to tie people up! If it weren't for that, he wouldn't have ever met Shin and his way of greeting… or saving people.

The car screeched, turning wildly until it rammed into a lamppost. But no one cared about that. Every eye on the street was watching a certain linebacker, staring down at a certain running-back who was clutching his sides and moaning. The linebacker, also known as Oujo's 40 or Seijiro Shin, quickly crouched next to the groaning kid and, to both Ikari's and Jumonji's horror – and the fan girls' delight – carried Eyeshield 21 bridal-style off the road.

The cameras began to go off wildly. In the background, someone screamed, "Ora!" and others shrieked in pure terror. But Jumonji's eyes were focused on the small figure in Shin's arms. Sena looked almost like a small child in Shin's arms like that. And the way that Sena seemed to be holding his ribs… it didn't look too good. Jumonji forced himself to relax his jaws. It wasn't Shin's fault that he happened to save Sena by tackling him… If he was angry, he should actually be attacking the Oujo's coach for teaching Shin such a dangerous tackling move. Yes. That sounded good actually. Jumonji made a mental note to visit the old Oujo's coach when Sena wasn't so… in pain.

Shin nodded to Jumonji before holding Sena out to him. "I think the car might have hit him," was Shin's only explanation. "Take him to the hospital."

Jumonji glared at Shin one last time before taking Sena gently in his arms. The brunette looked up at him, his cheeks flushed and his eyes watery. "Ka… Kazuki…" Then Deimon's Eyeshield 21 buried his face in Jumonji's shoulder. The ex-delinquent tightened his hold. Whatever thought of beating up Shōji Gunpei flew out of the window at that single word. He glanced at the fan girls and noticed that they had been all taken care of by a certain chain-loving fiend. Satisfied that he could leave now, he nodded at the two Oujo members. "I'll be leaving then," he declared, but made a silent promise to get back at Shin for that little display of affection towards Sena.

Shin nodded, his eyes still trained on Sena. And Ikari just grunted. Finally those stupid Deimon kids were leaving! Took them long enough! Ikari wiped off some blood on his cheek. Then he turned to the linebacker, chewing on a chain.

"And where were you?" Ikari demanded, in-between his bites.

"Why was Kobayakawa Sena here?" Shin asked instead.

"Ora! Don't change the subject!"

Shin finally glanced over at Ikari. If there was even a slight change of facial expression, then only a microscope set at x10,000 could pick it up. Shin Seijiro looked at stony as always. But that's what Ikari liked the best about him. There was no mushy gushy stuff that made Ikari want to vomit. There were just them. Them existing together, side by side. It was much better than what that silly Jumonji went through. Making calf-eyes at each other and holding hands. Beh! Who wanted a relationship like that?

Relationships like that always led to kissing. And kissing led to more… intimidate touches. And for the life of Ikari, that was _not_ how he wanted to spend his time with his love. Ikari would rather spend the day kicking a puppy. Or maybe playing at an arcade. Picking fights worked, too, actually. And this was why he picked Shin Seijiro to be his only. The boy had no love-bone in his body. Shin would never make kissy-kissy faces at Ikari. Shin would never suggestively wiggle his eyebrows and lean forward. Shin would never, _ever_ say the three cheesy words that-

"I like you, Ikari Daigo," Shin said out of the blue.

"ORA?!"


End file.
